Strange

"There are a hundred things she has tried to chase away the things she won't remember and that she can't even let herself think about because that's when the birds scream and the worms crawl and somewhere in her mind it's always raining a slow and endless drizzle.

You will hear that she has left the country, that there was a gift she wanted you to have, but it is lost before it reaches you. Late one night the telephone will sing, and a voice that might be hers will say something that you cannot interpret before the connection crackles and is broken.

Several years later, from a taxi, you will see someone in a doorway who looks like her, but she will be gone by the time you persuade the driver to stop. You will never see her again.

Whenever it rains you will think of her."

we hold up mirrors

I've spent a great deal of time burying my thoughts in the ground, carefully, and forgetting them.

April

T H E D E U T Z I A M O N T H

Oh...April happened. A lot transpired during that month. So much that I can't remember half of it, because I lost everything (my pictures) when my hard drive crashed earlier this week. I started this post prior to the crash, and fortunately, included a couple of photos. April episodes:

Easter with these cats:

2nd place winner in Roll Call:

first show in the gallery:

photo selected by Seattle Theater Group for an upcoming season brochure:

new roommate:

first wedding photographed:

- Quit my job of two and a half years at Target

- Got a new job as a seating host for the Seattle Mariners

- Got another job as a gallery assistant for the curator at Cornish

- Had the pleasure of a visit from my favorite Jorgensens for less than 24 hours in Seattle

- Drank more cups of coffee than any human body should consume in a lifetime

- Went to my first ever Houses show

- Upgraded cameras, from Nikon to Canon, to full frame, to HD video

- Rolled my first cigarette

- Learned how to properly sand, caulk, paint, and install walls according to gallery standards

- Dipped toes in the Pacific more times in one month than my entire 10 months in the Northwest

- Acknowledged truth and OBEYED it (Him)

April was easily the most difficult and most rewarding month of my young adult life. I'm still carrying the weight of the impression it left on me; everything happened so fast that it's only just now catching up with me. The last few weeks were spent working in the studio until midnight nearly every night. I've slept so little, and spent so little time with my roommates. I didn't read a single book. I'm only beginning to understand what it looks like to sacrifice relationships that will inevitably empty me, in pursuit of the only relationship that will honestly fulfill me. As of today, I'm a sophomore. I'm ready to sleep, travel, read, and reconstruct the sink hole that has conquered my bank account.

Bring it on, summer.

It hurt.

My bones just broke under the weight of my boots.

March

T H E E V E R - G R O W I N G M O N T H

in 99 photographs: