I warn you, this is all just me babbling, so don't get your hopes up..
This morning at church, Wade came up to me and gave me a hug, like he usually does, So I'm like, "Hey P.W! How are you?" And he says, "Good, how are you?" So i'm like, "Oh, i've been pretty darn good." But he continues to look into my eyes, expecting me to say something more. And he ALWAYS does this, and i totally hate it, so I'm like, "really, i've been good lately" and then i started to ramble about parker days, but he interrupted me and was like, "Well, I've been praying about you, because God has really put you on my heart lately." I just kinda thanked him..I didn't really know what to say. Is this supposed to mean something? Maybe it's a warning that something not so good will be happening to me in the near future. Or maybe it's another stamp across my face from God that I need to talk to Wade about Velocity. But I'm so scared. I hate talking to Wade about things, because I already know he's going to tell me that Velocity is the way to go, but what if that's not right? I've asked like, EVERYONE what their opinion is of Velocity, and i still don't know what to do. I pray about it day and night, but I'm still clueless. I know I have to be patient for God to answer my prayers, and faith the size of a mustard seed moves mountains, right guys? Why does it have to be so hard for me to understand what God is trying to do?...Someone from the Arvada Vineyard prayed for me about all this tonight, so I'm pretty happy about that. I am in hate with Satan, with all that i have..
My sister goes out clubbing nightly..It kinda scares me.
So this girl, whose name is Amanda Gartner, used to be mine & Jenny T's BEST friend. As in, she too bullied me & made me be Pocahontus every time we played barbies, and we used to make up dances to Mandy Moore songs together, and ride scooters when it really was cool..Well, she moved to Westminster over the summer of 6th grade. I remember this because she would ALWAYS get pissed off at me & Jenny T because she thought we were always bragging about being in middle school ((cause ya know, it's totally something to brag about & be proud of, right guys?)), but I never got to see her flaunt it. ((she was a year younger than us)). We were doing well in the "keep talking long distance" area, but then I went up to her house for the first time, and I ended up staying up there for 2 extra days while ignoring my parents phone calls, and we went to her parent's friend's party, and they were all drunk, and we ended up getting pushed into this big bubble bath, and well, that's another story in itself.. So I was officially no longer alloud to visit her. Everything kinda went downhill from there. I just talked to her today for the first time in many, many months, and this is her current life in a nutshell: Her parents are still together, but her dad is dating some woman, and her mom is living somewhere in wyoming with their grandparents, and shes going to see her on Thursday for the first time in two months. Her & her dad are taking counseling classes for alchoholics together. She has been working at the market up the street, which occasionally has to pay the bills. Her older sister just recently had a baby, and has barely any money to support it. They just found out where her oldest sister is, who long ago ran away with her boyfriend, without any notice. She's dating this mexican guy named Julian who is years older, and often spends the night with her. She is a serious alchoholic, smoker, and occasionally does drugs, at the age of 14. So uhhh, some prayer, anyone?
I have this cousin Carrie, whom i LOVE, and she was probably the person in my family who was the most in touch with God, and had the strongest relationship with Him. Well, she didn't date AT ALL through high school, but then she suddenly fell in love with some guy her freshman year in college, and out of nowhere, she's HIV positive. hmmmm.
I had a little bit of a serious talk with Jessie today, and I'm a little worried about her. It's been centuries since shes even thought of cracking her bible open, and I hope she doesn't stay that way the whole time in Loveland.. I told her I wanted to go through the devotional, 'My Utmost for His Highest', with her, but I'm worried about her not following through. I really hope she will. I want to help her get more into The Word.
A good friend of mine known as John Powell is said to be coming over soon. I guess he talked to Cortney S., and told her to tell me that he might be coming over tonight at around midnight or so because he pierced his ear, and he won't go home, because he knows his parents will be pissed off, so he thinks he's coming over to my house to spend the night. He also said that if someone makes him go home, than he'll commit suicide. This stuff has been going on a lot lately, seeing as how he's gotten into marijuana, and getting drunk... I guess he thinks he's depressed, and always makes suicidal comments, but I know him too well to know he would never kill himself, because he knows his fate in that. He is a complete idiot, and me and Cortney try to slap some sense into him daily, but he never gets it. Poor kid. He'll still continually be in my prayers..And don't worry about me saying this on the internet. He displays his life like an open book anyways..
I'm done..
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