Jenny B: So I kinda wanted to clip your tonsils with a rusty pair of gardening clippers...But ya know...I guess it's okay now.
Jordan T: If you did try and rip out or clip my tonsils with a 'rusty pair of gardening clippers', I would band your hand off at the wrist and I don't know, probably just start beating you accross the face with it along with all the blood.
Jenny B: Dang...That is a little harsh, Don't you think? I like my arm, and hand. I guess I would have to sew your mouth and nose shut but find a way to slip some epicac mixed with Black cats down your throat, so when you involuntary regurgitate your inner nasties, you not only ((basically)) explode, but you have that horrible taste of vommit in your mouth for ETERNITY!!!! ((BURN!))
Jordan T: Yeah...Not really.....Because you would pay the ultimate price. I would lock your wrists in a plexiglass container that was filled with water and carp (those vicious fish that will eat anything; they have large teeth and 20 of them can eat a human body in less that 5 minutes...True fact, watch the discovery channel). And then after that (when your hands are no longer hands...), I would drill hundreds of holes with a drill press in your arms, covering up the wounds after each hole is drilled to insure no blood loss and maximum lasting pain. Then I would give you papercuts on your eyes, cheeks, ears, and between all fingers and toes. After that, I would probably just tie you up and have you deal with the pain, sucka.
Jenny B: Fine. But let's just say that I would use a zig-zagged saw to cut deep slits all over your body, and then have red pepper rubbed into your lacerated flesh. Afterwards, I would pour some hott brine over and into your gashes, to increase the torture/make me giggle. Last but most cerainly not least, I'd like to hang you by your feet above an underwater cage of barbaric and bloodthirsty great white sharks. Boo-yaka-sha!
Jordan T: Have you ever had salt on a small cut or anything?...Well, now you will. I will use a rusty dull knife to make cuts all over your body, and then I'd put you in a bath of salt and make you roll around. Then i would poke about 100 - 200 needles in your eyes.. Good luck.
4 comments:
this party sounds like bad times all around.
i think we need to jump him.
for the sugar, the kicks in the shins, and just because his last name is thompson.
and we should also go hunting with him...i forget what weapons you two get, but i know he said i could use the arrow i gave him for his b-day. ALRIGHT, BREAK!
Hunting was already in the works, but at least you're making yourself useful by offering suggestions.
Jordan can use his BB gun, and I'll use my slingshot/Jordan's marbles.
Today I shot stone in the no-no-zone.
You should read about it on my xanga.
And stop acting like Jordan kicks you in the shins/pours sugar all over you!
He favors you, but I'm just the test lab rat.
Maybe you should just stop being such an urban slut.
Urban Slut huh?!?
well, maybe you should watch what you say...hypocrite.
Look at my blog.
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