Sit me down and shut me up.

I want everything in my head to be clear and uniform. Organized and easily distinguishable. I feel like I'm wearing blinders, tunnel visioned like a mindless horse. I can't help peeking to the side and wondering why I'm trudging more than I can handle on uneasy turf, and not lying down in the nearby green pastures and being guided beside still waters. Sometimes I wish I could read God like I try to read everyone else, so I could figure out why He does what He's doing, and when He'll be done...Or why He created me with a mind that thrives on that which is insignificant and refuses to cease when it must. I want to be locked up in a box until He's finished breaking and healing me. The side effects are embarrassing. It's so much more than adequate sleep. I am so tired. I need to be still a while.