To you, best friend

'_____',
Last night, after i stopped talking to you, I read this verse that says, 'Do not say, "Why were the old days better than these?" For it is not wise to ask such questions.' [Ecclesiastes 7:10] It reminded me of you, because I've repeatedly said that, referring to us, and I've needed to be slapped in the face with that for so long. It's time for me to stop dwelling on the past and missing what we used to have, but rather to be thankful for the memories we've made and the ones to come. I remember our first summer retreat, & how it was my favorite. Not only was it the most amazing retreat for me because it was one of the times when I had been the most intimate with God, but it's when our friendship that turned into a relationship really began (turned into a relationship - meaning, we clicked, we became best friends, & I realized what a big part of my life you were going to be,) which is kind of ironic, because TJ & Shannon were our leaders, haha. But I loved it all the same. You may not remember this, but once, probably in 7th or 8th grade, you called me one nigh, and after a while of talking, you started to tell me about how you had a feeling that we'd be apart of each others' lives for a long time. I hope you still have that feeling. Then, after a while of hesitating because you "didn't know how to say it," and you "didn't want to sound weird," the words "I love you" slipped out of your mouth. You didn't know this, but at that moment, tears began to fall when I said that I loved you back. When I said it, it may have sounded a smidge careless, but It meant the world to me. I cry when we're on the phone more than you think, I just don't let it show because I don't want you seeing me so fatigued and run down. Just a week and half or so ago, I laid out on my back deck to look at the stars for the first time all year, and I couldn't help but cry, remembering that I used to do that nearly every night while talking to you. I would wait for your call around 10 or 11, when your parents were asleep, because they wouldn't let you talk on the phone with girls, not even your best friend, and that was the only time we could get away with it. I remember the first Earthbeat, 2 years ago. Even though we were all nasty and gross after wading through dirty streams & throwing chipotle burritos at each there, once everyone left, it was just me and you, hanging out behind the church in the rain, like best friends would. I remember some exact day in 2002, you decided that Jenny T was the love of your life. I loved watching you become obsessed with my other best friend, only to find out years later that it was never bound to happen. I'm so glad we've come so far, while only at the ages of 14 & 15, knowing that we've got our whole lives ahead of us. As much as I say that we aren't best friends because our bond has closed up over time, we'll always be best friends, forever. (I know, i known. How cliche...) I love you '_____', & I always will, no matter what.

...and sorry this post is so girly, but I must say, I wasn't born with a branch, now was I? (hehe, nik)